I'm a little slow at posting about his birthday, but better late than never right? :) We had such a fun day, but it is still hard for me to believe that I have a two year old.
The "terrible twos" arrived a day earlier than his birthday and in full force. He is actually a very calm kid and usually I can get him to calm down and not stay too mad or too crazy for long, but the day before his birthday, was me losing all control.
So I decided to head to Toys R Us with Amy and her kids. Jackson had been a little grumpy that morning, but I thought a change of pace might help snap him out of it. When we arrived at Toys R Us we let our kids head right for the Thomas the Train display that is set up for kids to try out the wooden tracks on a train table. The kids were having a blast, but every once in a while Jackson would do something to push Susie out of his way. I kept warning him and finally he actually hit her, so I told him he needed to take a break for a minute and sit in the cart.
Well, this is about where all heck broke lose. Jackson completely lost it, screaming and kicking and yelling and well, throwing an all out fit. Now, mind you has done this a little at home, but usually if I just ignore him for a second he is over it and I don't think I have ever scene him look so out of control. The look in his eye, was a little creepy, I just felt like he wasn't himself at all and thus wasn't in control at all.
Anyway, I could deal with the screaming and the people coming around and peeking down the aisles to see what was going on. I mean a little embarrassing, but I could deal with it.
Suddenly, Jackson had my arm in his mouth and was biting down as hard as he could. Here comes the saddest part of this story and the part I STILL feel terrible about. His teeth we holding me so hard and it hurt so bad that out of desperation to get him off I hit his head. I feel like the most horrible mom! I couldn't believe I had just hit him.
As soon as he let go with his mouth he pulled the whole front of my shirt down....yes, I flashed all of the costumers who at this time had gathered or were sneakily peeking around the corners, but I knew they were there. I knew they were all watching.
Here I am feeling terrible about just hitting Jackson and extremely embarrassed about flashing all the customers in Toys R Us, I quickly asked Amy for the car keys and picked up my screaming, kicking, and hitting child and walked out of Toys R Us sobbing. I was mortified for my behavior and his.
I strapped him in his car seat, where I could be a safe distance from him and let him just have it out. He screamed and kicked for at least 5 more minutes, before I got him to calm down. Actually I shouldn't say I did anything, because I didn't. Marc did it. Marc was at work and I just called him sobbing and trying to tell him what had just happened. Marc asked to talk to Jackson and I held the phone up to his ear while Marc talked to him. He eventually calmed down and we then buckled all the kids up and headed home.
If I had only stepped back a little and calmed down. If I had not just wanted Jackson to stop biting my arm, I could have remembered other ways to get him to stop. I feel terrible. I could have pinched his nose closed so he would be forced to open his mouth and release my arm, if only, if only....
And so many people watching and judging. I knew they probably thought I hit him all the time and didn't realize this was an isolated event, second that Jackson had never bit me before and thus I had never thought through what to do, and third that Jackson had NEVER EVER thrown a fit this out of control EVER...let alone in a public place.
Please somebody let me know that I am not the only one. And let me know how you deal with tantrums in public. I know that this is just the beginning of a long road, so I need advice. What do you do? I know I shouldn't have hit him and I promise I won't do that ever again. Please help!
8 comments:
He is so cute!! This year went by fast.
Michelle--you are an awesome mom and it sounds like it was a crazy situation. I don't think you need to feel badly--you had to come up with a way to get his biting teeth off of you and save your arm!! The good thing to remember is that kids forgive instantly and Jackson will never remember what happened. You are not alone in having moments you wish you could re-do as a mom, believe me! You are doing so great--good luck with the terrible twos!
Oh Michelle...I really feel for you. I can totally relate. I do so many things that I never thought I would do as a mother and have way less patience that I thought I had. But don't let that get you down, just start over the next day. You are such a great mom, I'm sure of it. And I don't know a good solution for public tantrums other than crying myself. Let me know if you find an alternative!
Here's my advice. Don't beat yourself up! That has happened to me many times..and occasionally, i've had to smack Emma here and there because of her behavior. Throwing a tamtrum and biting is NOT acceptable and you need to nip it in the bud, right? I think you did great in the situation! But I promise I'm not an abusive parent. But I am pro spanking when there is a need :)
Michelle-
You don't need to be so hard on yourself. You really are a great mom and I'm sure Jackson knows that. Peyton is also in to biting and although she is a year younger and may not know quite what she is doing I still have gotten upset. In fact this weekend we were with Tyler's family and waiting to get in a restraunt. Peyton was being a little brat and so I was holding her. Well, she bit me on the shoulder and it HURT! I immediately grabbed her arm and jerked her back and said in a firm voice "NO!" She bust up into tears. Tyler's entire family was staring at me like...I can't believe you just yelled at her and pulled her back like that. I was embarrassed and felt bad. I now had a screaming baby and people staring at me. Needless to say I ended up leaving the restraunt with her and went back to where we were staying and had Tyler bring me home take out. So what I'm trying to say is that if Peyton were Jackson's age and I was in the same situation it would but wouldn't surprise me if I reacted the same way you did. So no you are not abusive and like all of us we just have to pick up and realize we aren't perfect and will try our best to do better.
I agree with all the other posts! And I think it's great that you put him in the car buckled, where he could finish his tantrum and not hurt himself or anyone else! It's so hard.
When I was a behavior specialist dealing with kids doing stuff like that to me all the time I would often get sooooo upset...and I was trained to deal with that! Brianna had a weekend like that when I was in Memphis and I was so afraid she had hit the terrible 2's. Luckily she hasn't been as bad since we've gotten back.
Good luck and don't feel bad. I think it's often necessary to just take yourself and the child out of the public viewing area to cool down like you did in the car.
Michelle you are so tender hearted! Really you are so sweet. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself, you are a great mom. And one day you will look back on the situation and it won't seem so bad.
you kill me! you are too nice and such a good parent, I wouldn't even worry about it!
Remember on Heritage Tours when we saw that lady yell (as she was whoppin' her kid) "quit hitting your sister!" love that. and that is SOOo not you.
And, sheesh, it was your instant reaction to freak when you were under biting attack! oooh, the joys of parenthood. I can't wait till something like that happens to us! :)
you are the bomb, and a good parent! If this is the first time he has ever thrown a major fit in a store, and he is already 2, then wow! props to you!
and, by the way, can you believe that he is really TWO YEARS OLD?! what?! SOOO fun!
and the cakes looked FANTASTIC!
lots of love to the mother of the year!
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