As a result of my recent fall out with Jackson's punishment...I have decided on a new plan of action. I used time-outs way too often and worry that their effect will wear off, so this new plan combine with Time-outs I am hoping will work.
Anyway, on Sunday I was talking to Amy about my situation and asking her what she thought. When she remembered an idea she had heard about a while back---Jelly Bean Jars.
Make a list of things you are looking for Good and Bad and talk about the list with your child. You start out with five Jelly Beans in the jar every morning as the child does something good you reward them with more Jelly Beans in their Jar, when they do something bad you take out a Jelly Bean. Then at the end of the day, any Jelly Beans they have earned they get to
eat. Somedays it has been quite a few and other days not so many, but I do think it is helping.
So a little story about this. The first day...morning-time-ish...Jackson had done something and I told him to stop or he would lose a Jelly Bean. He then proceeded to hit me. So I walked briskly away telling him he was losing a Jelly Bean. He came screaming after me and threw himself against the screen door. Let me just paint a mental picture of what he looked like. He had one arm up in a bent position against the screen with his head resting on it and screaming.
Then as I start to walk back to the screen door to talk to Jackson about it and why he lost his Jelly Bean. I watched Susie walk up behind him and start rubbing his back and saying "shhhh. shhh." In her sweetest kindest way. Jackson started to calm down and then Tyler came up to rubbed his tummy and said, "Its alright Jackson. Be Happy. You can get more Jelly Beans. Be Happy." Then Susie started saying, "Happy. Happy Jackson. Happy. shhh. "
Jackson had stopped crying completely and Susie grabbed his hand and sat down by him on the step with Tyler too. This is where my camera came in. I should have thought of it sooner. It was such a sweet moment.
(Can you see Susie now rubbing his head and Tyler telling him it was okay and to be happy? Too cute I tell you! Too cute!)
6 comments:
michelle, this is so cute! i am starting to try and figure out my discipline strategy as calvin is just getting into the "all-out crazy tantrum" stage. we can get through this together! i like the jelly bean idea, though.
that is so cute!! i guess they understand the concept!
That is so sweet!
A great idea Michelle--that is kind of similar to my good boy beans--but it's the normal beans so not as good to eat :)
So I was laughing so hard at your toys r us experience. I feel for you. isn't it crazy when your child starts to have a mind of their own--i think it's hard because lots of times it reflects on you as a parent (in really embarrassing moments). Like on sunday at church--owen kept trying to escape our pew and I was motioning for him to come over to me. He kept yelling, "don't hit me mom...don't kill me..."---over and over! It was so embarrassing! Everyone probably thinks I beat him or threaten lots to kill him. I have no idea where he gets his ideas! Anyways, I wish I had some advice, except try to stay calm during those situations. I have found myself yelling at Owen at stores sometimes because I have just had it. Then I feel so embarrassed because people probably think I always yell at him (which I hardly ever). Matt is such an example to me of dealing with our boys calmly. he never yells, but they always listen to him so well. I always try to act more like him, but it's so hard sometimes. Good luck! I'm sure you are doing much better than you think.
Hey Michelle. Jackson is 2, how exciting! I've seen my sisters do something similar to this with their kids. They would also have some sort of weekly or monthly goal as well. Right now my sister has a system like this to help her 6 year old stop sucking her thumb! You never know what it could be helpful for! Anyway, I saw your last post and just wanted to leave a memory of you! I don't know if I can think of just one! Well, I remember going next door in the dorms to meet you and Whit with Katie (I think Katie may have already met you) but we were in your room talking for a few minutes and then Katie and I came back to our room and were like "oh my gosh those girls are so nice and cute and their room is so adorable and clean!" I also remember your awesome car, I don't think I even went for a ride in it until we moved in to the RG. Speaking of RG I just remember that year and you and Marc and I always just knew that you guys were made for each other! At your wedding dinner(which was so beautiful btw)I remember Jared saying to me "I always knew they were meant to be!" You are such a sweet, kind, and smart girl and I feel lucky to know you!
What a great Idea I am defently going to try that with my daughter Samantha. What a nice story, very cute :D
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