marc and michelle

Morning Routine

January 19, 2012

I decided that I hated being the "bad guy" all morning long.  Nagging and begging, and yelling at times (Shocker, I know. Not proud of it, but it happens) to get the kids to move in the morning.  

I hated how I felt by the time Jackson was out the door for school.  I didn't like sending him out into the world already nagged and verbally shoved to the ground each morning (not that I was saying anything harsh, don't get me wrong, just not really saying anything nice either).  

I know school can be a rough place to be all day and he doesn't necessarily have someone there cheering him on, so I didn't like the idea of him being so alone and already feeling not 100% ready to face the day (emotionally) as he headed out the door.   

So I set a goal--I wanted to send him out the door every morning feeling like million bucks!  I wanted him to know he is the most awesome thing on earth, that he is missed while he is away and that we LOVE him so very much!   I prayed and I brainstormed and this is what I ended up with...

Our Clock.

 I love it.

They love it.

And it works.

It REALLY works!

Jackson knows exactly what is expected of him and how much time he has to get it done.  If he doesn't finish the task by the time we are supposed to, we simply know the next task has to be started.  There isn't any arguing and if there is any frustration, it has all been directed at the clock and NOT me.  I am no longer the "bad guy".  

I don't have to nag and I don't have to threaten all morning long!  

It is wonderful. 

I added the pictures for Bennett since he can't read and of course it helps Jackson too.  (PS, they love that the pictures are of them doing the things).  Bennett has a harder time following the schedule, but he can and he does.  I just had to remind him when the minute hand reaches the new colored dot that it is time to move to the next thing.  

In order for this to work (in my opinion) you have to be willing to step back and let them sink or swim.  I introduced the plan the night before the first day, so they knew what I expected of them in the morning.  Jackson and Bennett were both really excited about it, but I was fully prepared for revolting in the morning. 

I already had a plan in my head that I was going to be okay if they were not following the schedule.  I knew that I wasn't going to get mad or take any of the blame for not getting breakfast or wearing PJ's to school, if it came to that.  I was fully prepared to let whatever happened happen.  

I knew I would remind them ONCE when the minute hand hit a new color, but that was it and if we showed up to school in our PJ's I would be okay and they would be okay.  I knew that one day of that happening and it would probably never happen again.  I guess this might sound a little harsh, but I really felt like it was a minor consequence that wouldn't really hurt them, but would have a major impact.  

I knew that all morning long I would show them love.  I wasn't going to be fake, I was really going to feel sad if they were sad and let them know that I was sorry that they weren't able to finish a task, but I also wouldn't take the blame.  I would let them see that they had all the power and they would make their own choices and get the consequences that followed.

Luckily, it has been pretty smooth sailing and the boys have been doing amazing!  I don't have to threaten and yell in the morning and we all leave the house happy.  Yay!  

So I share all of this encase there is anyone else out there who is feeling like I was just a few weeks ago.  I always appreciate any advice I can get from people, so I thought I would pass along something that has been working for me.    

PS.  The only problem we have had as of late, is just that it is a routine and it is the same every morning, so I am going to hang a calender next to the schedule and let them each put a sticker on it every morning and if they have "x" amount of stickers at the end of the month I will get them something little (maybe just a pack of gum from the store or something)